We can control only three things in life: our behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Feelings are the most important as they have a huge impact on our behaviours and thoughts.
Actually, we make about 80% of decisions under the influence of our emotions and feelings. However, feelings are also the most difficult to control. Emotional intelligence is the ability to acknowledge and manage emotions. In this article, I want to tell you how you can improve your emotional intelligence skills and gain much more control over your feelings and your life.
Be aware of your feelings
Becoming more aware of your feelings is a crucial first step. For many people, they are just something happening in the background. However, few times a day you should check in with yourself about what you are feeling. Take some time and describe your emotional state with words. Such a practice will increase awareness of your feelings and give you more control.
Delay showing emotions
All of us at least once said something in the heat of a moment and then wished to turn back time. Even if such impulsive reactions are rare for you, there are still a lot of benefits of being able to delay displaying emotions. You should develop a habit of counting to 10 before making emotion-driven decisions. This way, you will be more in control of your emotions.
Listen to others
Listening to others helps you build stronger connections with them. People are so used that they are often not heard and they will respect you if you simply listen to them. Many of us just wait until it is our turn to speak. However, you should always focus on what other people say and avoid monologues.
Keep a daily journal
You can improve emotional intelligence by writing down your feelings and emotions. Journaling is an act of self-care that develops self-awareness. Make it a daily habit that involves three routines relevant to emotional intelligence:
- Write about yourself and your current feelings
- Write down what you have learned about your feelings during the previous day
- Write about where you want to focus on in improving your emotional intelligence
The most important thing is to start. You can write by hand, choose a journaling app or use a voice recorder – just be consistent.
Meditation helps improve emotional intelligence as well. It can build new neural pathways, which may help manage emotions and stress. Meditation is also useful for people who have difficulties with expressing feelings and emotions. Empty mind meditation will help you calm and clear the mind, build attention and focus. To do this, breathe and empty your mind, don’t think about anything. Loving-kindness meditation will help you manage your feelings to other people and make these feelings more positive. You can do it by visualizing these people in your life, by sending them love and kindness in your thoughts.
It is good for health and has a significant impact on emotional intelligence. Yoga teaches you to be present, helps you become self-aware and recognize your emotions more easily. Moreover, it gives you the ability to manage your body. Emotions often manifest physically, so you will be able to manage them even better.
Put yourself in their shoes
Try to understand other people and what they are going through, do not judge. If someone needs help, do not hesitate to offer it. Before you react, think how you would feel if you were that person, think how you would like others to treat you. Treating people the same way you want to be treated is a great way to develop emotional intelligence.
It may sound obvious, but you should see something positive in everything. Instead of worrying about doing things you have never done, see it as an opportunity to learn something new. Positive affirmations can keep you motivated. Tell yourself that you will achieve all your goals, that you will be successful. Believe what you say and your beliefs will work for you.
Be open to humour
You can’t control every situation. If something happened not the way you expected, roll with it. Humour is a sign of high emotional intelligence. Laughter and happiness are the best things, which can help you handle stress. Joke and laugh at work from time to time, it will make your work atmosphere much better.
You need practice to improve your emotional intelligence. Try to implement these habits every day and always find new ones. High EQ will bring more positivity and productivity to your life. You will understand emotions of other people better and know how to react. At work, it helps you collaborate with your colleagues, express different opinions and negotiate with grace. Whether you are a CEO or a new hire, developing your emotional intelligence will help you build connections and understanding with your co-workers.
Alessandro Rocco Pietrocola is an entrepreneur and investor based in London and operating mainly in Europe, Asia and Oceania with main focus on UK, Baltic Countries, Russia, China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, Middle East and New Zealand as area of interest! At the moment is the CEO of Astorts Group. He is an UK FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) Approved Person and is has great experience as director of regulated companies. He uses to dedicate part of his life to inspire others and help them achieve the most out of their life. Since he was 20, he had successfully founded and managed several companies operating in the field of management consulting, wealth management and fintech. He loves travelling, he is a cigars lover, an amateur golfer and a dapper man.