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What makes a man a gentleman?

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A gentleman is someone who stands out from the crowd of other guys and men. Even though the precise definition could change through time, the word ‘gentleman’ has always meant a solid and dependable man.

Some people can say that nowadays a real gentleman is hard to find, but what exactly makes a man a gentleman today? Can any male become one easily? I have come up with 10 skills and behaviours you should possess to call yourself a gentleman, and today I want to tell you about each of them in details.

a real gentleman

A gentleman knows the difference between being confident and arrogant

Arrogant people have an exaggerated sense of self-importance or their abilities. They act like they know everything and have nothing to learn from others. An arrogant person doesn’t listen to other people’s views. A confident person, in contrast, has no problems listening or learn from others. His self-assurance comes from an appreciation of his qualities. Arrogance masks insecurity. A gentleman is never arrogant, but he is confident.

He has good manners

A gentleman is polite and well-mannered at all times. He is humble, decent and intelligent. He opens a door for a lady, offers her a seat or a coat when it is cold. When a gentleman sees a woman, a child or an elderly man struggling with heavy luggage, he can’t ignore it and offers his assistance. He always says please and thank you and makes people around him comfortable.

What makes a man a gentleman

He loves style

A real gentleman has his own style and always dresses according to it. He invests in clothes in solid and subdued colours like navy, white, grey etc. He takes care of his garments and always keeps them neat. Ideally, a gentleman should own at least one well fitted bespoke suit. In Pietrocola Bespoke, we would gladly create a unique suit according to your precise measurements and specifications. I can ensure you it will fit you perfectly and last for decades.

He respects everyone

It is something that a gentleman always does, no matter what. He is polite with anyone from cleaners and waiters to business partners and big bosses. A gentleman respects himself as well, he accepts he can make mistakes and learn from them.

He is always controlled

Of course, it is not possible to control everything in our life, but a real gentleman always controls his choices and reactions to different situations. He can’t be verbally abusive but tries to keep calm and cool. If a gentleman thinks he can get angry, he just walks away. At the party, a gentleman never gets wasted, he knows his limits.

good manners

He always wants to be the best version of himself

He doesn’t compare himself to others but wants to improve and become better than he was in the past. A gentleman knows he can’t be perfect, but always strives to achieve his goals and aid other people whenever it is possible. He works on his best and worst qualities to become the best version of himself.

He is always on time

A gentleman can’t be late as it is a sign of disrespect. Being a gentleman means that you appreciate other people’s time and arrive 10-15 minutes in advance. If a gentleman understands he is going to be late, he always informs a person he is meeting and apologizes.

He never judges

He never judges a book by its cover or by what other people say. He makes conclusions about people based on his own experience, but never judges. He never gossips or spreads rumours as well. He protects the integrity of himself and people around him.

never judges

He doesn’t insist on paying the bill

A gentleman always picks up the check. However, if his partner or friend indicated that he would like to get this one, a gentleman accepts that. He doesn’t insist on paying it whatever it takes. A gentleman never flashes his cash or ignores wishes of other people. He can let another person pay but might say that the next bill is on him.

He is always considerate

He is attentive and takes into account feelings and opinions of others before doing something. He never makes fun of someone as he knows it may be offensive. He doesn’t do it even if the person is not there and can’t hear it. He makes people around him comfortable and doesn’t stare at the phone when he is with someone. He pays attention and shows where his priorities lie.

He keeps swearing to a minimum

Of course, even the most debonair men use a curse word in some situations. However, a gentleman doesn’t do it on a daily basis. Not dropping the f-bomb every now and then is a sign of maturity and good manners. It also shows the innate calmness and confidence, which is the hallmark of a gentleman.

Alessandro Rocco Pietrocola is an entrepreneur, fintecher, investor, blogger and author based in London and operating mainly in Europe, Asia and Oceania with main focus on UK, Baltic Countries, Russia, China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, UAE, Middle East and New Zealand as area of interest! At the moment is the CEO of Astorts Group. He is an UK FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) and NZ FSPR (Financial Service Provider Register) Approved Person and has great experience as director of regulated companies.
He uses to dedicate part of his life to inspire others and help them achieve the most out of their lives. Since he was 20, he had successfully founded and managed several companies operating in the field of management consulting, wealth management and fintech. He is Member of Institute of Directors in London, Member of Changer Club in Riga, Member of Fintech Association of Hong Kong, Member of Singapore Fintech Association, Member of Non Executive Director Association in London and Member of Alumni Network of Draper University in San Francisco. He loves travelling, he is a cigars lover, an amateur golfer and a dapper man.
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